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God, I feel so low at the moment. I have a cold and I'm tired, and… - NO SOUP FOR YOU [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
vixnix the triumphant

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[Apr. 19th, 2007|09:47 pm]
vixnix the triumphant
God, I feel so low at the moment. I have a cold and I'm tired, and all of a sudden humanity's impact on the earth, and my own life, just look so fucking vulgar.

I walked into town from the railway station today, through a whole lot of construction sites. It just made me so fucking sick that people are putting up new buildings, pilliging the planet for resources, just to build these ugly fucking buildings that will suck energy and create more climate change problems. All the while, people are starving to death. I mean what the fuck is that about - we've been on this planet how long now, and are still not civilised enough to distribute resources equitably. Instead we shoot people off the planet, drill huge holes into the planet, and spew toxic fumes into the air.

It just makes me so sick. I make myself sick, with my fucked up consumerist lifestyle and gluttony. It's just so fucking disgusting. And nobody cares, not me, not anyone here in the camp of internet access and cable tv consumers. We're all numb, dumb, our feelings plugged up, or perverted into primitive self-interest passed off as intellectualism.

If I didn't have a family or friends, I would seriously consider shooting myself in the face right now. Actually, I wouldn't, because I don't own a gun or even know anyone who owns a gun. Speaking of guns, how does a massacre at a university not communicate a need for gun control. I'll tell you how - because there's a greater need. The need to make fucking money from selling guns.

I'm going to go to bed tonight and think about how many peoples lives could be changed if I stopped being a self-obsessed, self-pitying, pathetic, apathetic near 30-year-old fucking adolescent. Who knows. It might actually change me to the point where I do something about all the shit that I hate. One can fucking h
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Comments:
From: dasein_plushie
2007-04-19 01:37 pm (UTC)
Why not try to volunteer an hour or so a week somewhere? It's a great way to meet people that share your concerns, as well as feeling like you're making at least some impact. I volunteered in a tree planting through my school last semester, and it gave a real sense of community and productivity...
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From: graceless_gh
2007-04-20 06:27 pm (UTC)
I know where you're coming from, but for the most part you can only expect to change yourself. If that inspires others to change then you're winning.

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